Moving On

It has been two years and two months since I have been a single mom.  It has definitely had its ups and downs, most of the time complete release, freedom and happiness but also moments of loneliness, frustration and heartache.

My ex and I live in separate provinces, he in Alberta and I moved back home to Saskatchewan.  The kids live with me throughout the year.  Last summer we shared them (alternating every 2 weeks) but this summer they are gone to their dads for basically the whole summer.

Going through this process has been difficult, I had them this past week, but dropped them off to their dad again last evening and I already miss them.  I miss their faces and laughter and the smell of their hair… that baby soap mixed with hours of playing outside which makes for sun soaked happiness.  I miss Hudson crawling into bed with me every morning….

Their dad and I don’t get along which makes it all the more difficult dropping them off to him, but I try to put our differences aside and take a deep breath, and remind myself that they love him and deserve to have him in their lives. 

Sometimes it takes every ounce of courage, strength, forgiveness and faith to try and let go of the past and just move forward.  As much as it is difficult going through a separation, I don’t regret it.  I am blessed to have my kids and I have learnt a lot about myself, being a parent and life in general.

I’m sure I’ll eventually write down my past, I’m sure it will be therapeutic to get it out and accept everything that has happened.  For now, instead of moping about not having my kids around, I will remind myself of everything I should be happy and thankful for and continue to journal this new journey as our life is reinvented.

“I will live and not die”

Psalms 118: 17

Summer Holiday's

I picked up my kids on Friday (July 19^th) and we headed straight up to Edmonton, AB to visit my sissy and enjoy some MUCH NEEDED family time with her, my bro-in-law and the most adorable little niece around.

Our four days were filled with fun!  Swimming, rides, movies, walks, good food and loads of laughs.

This summer has been hard with my kids being gone for most of it, 7 out of 8 weeks… insert sad face here…  so the 8 days they are here with me I want to spend some great time with them.  As any parent knows, our kids are our lives and we want to give them the best we can and this weekend was just that for us, making some awesome memories.

Although our days were filled with activities, it was also filled with loads of cuddles and pure happiness just to be together.  I truly believe they deserve to live happy and enjoy the novelties of childhood.

 

“watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live”

Deuteronomy 4:9

2 days!

The past three weeks without my kids have been so lonely but thankfully they have flown by and in only two days my munchkins will be back in my arms!  I’m so excited and so are they.

I skyped them last Saturday and Hudson was ready to come home, but I reminded him that he would be here soon and to enjoy his time and not worry, and that mom has definitely not forgotten about my handsome little man. 

Olivia was happy and bubbly and made my heart glow.  She has been an amazing trooper through the separation of their dad and I.  It is never our children’s job to protect us, but she is so intelligent, so realistic and so mature for a six year old.  When I feel bad, sad or guilty that they are growing up in a divided household, she is my reminder to stay strong and remember that the I have made the right decision for them and for myself.

  

I am so ready to see them, hug them and have some summer adventure time!

“Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.”  

“Her children arise and call her blessed”

Proverbs 31:26 28

Time To Reflect

As my kids have been away for almost two weeks now, I have many days where I miss them SO much.  I (often) sleep with their pillows or a stuffy of theirs just to have their scent around.

But in trying to stay positive and happy I keep myself busy working (two jobs) as well as expanding my custom refurbished furniture… keep updated, I’m hoping to put together some post soon of my projects on the go.

  

What’s also a positive is taking this time for me… rekindling old friendships as well as creating new ones.  I spent a nice evening around a campfire with some of both last night, enjoying some laughs... playing around with Instavideo... oh, and the s'mores, we can't forget those!

  

But most importantly having this time to myself has given me the opportunity to get to know myself again.  As difficult as it may be to spend this much time apart from my kidlets, it gives me a chance to reflect on the past and what is ahead in the future

“I believe that the present suffering is nothing compared to the coming glory that is going to be reveled to us”

Romans 8:18

Birthday's

Well here it is, my first post!  Very exciting, my first journey with you all and what better way than with a party!

As you will learn though this single mama gig… just like most things… there are ups and downs.  This past weekend was some of both.

My dear Hudson had a “real party for his fake birthday” as the celebration ended up being called.  Hudson turns four this summer but unfortunately, for me, he will be at his dad's during his birthday… which breaks my heart… so we had a big HOOPLA before they left and here are some pics from the fab celebration!

  

Like every good party there were presents

And more presents

There was a piñata (Look at him eye that thing up)

Trampoline and sandbox fun 

Secret Wishes & Birthday Cake

Family love & Special friends

All in all the weekend was great with so many happy memories added to the books and we couldn't ask for a better group of friends to share our joys with.

Happy Summer!