new year, new beginnings

It has been a long time since I have posted in this blog.  Not such a bad thing as my life has been filled to the brim… with mostly good things.  I have continued on this journey of discovering new aspects about myself, about life, about people, about God. 

I don’t know what it is about new years and why we take so much time to reflect on the past year, when we have the ability to reflect at any point in time.  But when my life is at a crossroads and when I cry out to God, it’s always easiest to write, often as a release and sometimes as my prayers.

 

My goal in 2014 is to continue to grow and allow my soul to heal from the past and flourish in new opportunities.  In 2014 I put my trust in Jesus as my leader to Look for the good and Release the negative. Enjoy. Pray. Breath. Experience. Follow. Give back. Work hard. Open my hands and heart. Love. Get involved. Find peace.

I promise to wrap my kids in love and bring them the best I can.  Nourish their bellies, remove worry from their minds and provide comfort in their hearts. 

 

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort”

2 Corinthians 1:3

Camping

The past weekend was glorious for camping with temps sitting in the high 20’s, few clouds in the sky and just enough of a breeze to whisk the sweet freshness of the Canadian Rockies across your face.

The kids and I jumped aboard the trailer and set out for some fun.

We had so much fun hiking, biking and making campfires.  We also went to the hot springs which I would like to say we enjoyed… but can pretty much be summed up as ... Parent’s don’t let your kids drink the pool water!  After only 10 minutes in the pool a kid (not mine) vomited everywhere from drinking the pool water and we all had to evacuate … $20 down the drain … the pool drain ...

As summer comes to a close, although we didn't get a ton of camping in this year, we sure had fun!  Hopefully next summer we can take a long camping trip down through the north of the US of A.! 

A Day With My Dad

When I moved back home last year I moved in with my parents.  They are giving me some time to stay with them to help me get back on my feet after my separation.  As difficult as it may be to move back in with your parents when you're almost 30, it has also been great to spend some time with them as adults and appreciate my parents more than I did when I moved out 11 years ago after high school.

Very shortly after I moved home my dad was diagnosed with cancer.  It has been a great blessing moving in when I think my parents needed us (the kids and I).  My dad and I don’t spend a lot of ‘quality’ time together but today … on this beautiful Sunday afternoon … my dad took me out for a drive through the prairies showing me the homestead of where his family settled and where he grew up.  He named every farm (for what seemed liked miles) and told me little stories along the way.

Cancer is scary stuff and even when they are doing well, it's still really hard on the patient, and also difficult on the family.  I have watched both my parents struggle over the last year but am happy to say that my dad has been so strong and is fighting his battle well!  I love my dad so much, he’s always been there for me when I've need him most.  It was so nice to spend time together and I will always be grateful and thankful for having such a nice man to call my dad.

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you”

 Exodus 20:12

in need of an adventure

It’s rainy and dreary outside today which makes me just slump down in my chair, wishing I was curled up at home… in my bed… with a pot of tea... sigh

But since I’m not and I’ve been daydreaming of my next travel quest, here are my top three ADVENTURE destinations.

1.  The Glowworm Caves of New Zealand – seriously this looks amazing.  I’ve been caving before (which I loved) and these caves sound incredible

2.   Petra, Jordan – I wish to be riding camelback through the desert to this amazing lost city.  So much history! 

3.   Machu Picchu, Peru – Again, the ancient ruins of lost cities is fascinating to me.  Although it is an incredibly challenging hike, I would love the adventure and it is definitely on my bucket list.

I love a relaxing holiday, but this prairie girl is in real need of some adventure at the moment.

it's just around the corner

I’m getting excited, dance season is just around the corner and I can’t wait!  I love the summer months, searching through loads of music and compiling the next seasons song list.  I love looking through old costume books getting ideas and re-watching old recital DVD’s feeling so proud.

The past two years of teaching have been different not having my own studio and having to teach in different studios, but it’s still totally awesome getting to work with the kids.  And of course this kid especially…..

My heart explodes every time I look at Olivia’s dance pictures.  She just melts my heart over and over.  I just love teaching my own daughter (at least while she’s young).  It's so fun watching them grow and accomplish new steps and watching them try to do much harder steps as they watch the senior dancers.  I love watching them make friends and giggle through dance class.  Everything about it is so sweet.  

After a dance season and all the up’s and down’s it takes to get those kids looking their best on stage, its nice when June rolls around and there is a bit of a breather.  However nothing beats knowing that the upcoming dance season is just around the corner!

Moving On

It has been two years and two months since I have been a single mom.  It has definitely had its ups and downs, most of the time complete release, freedom and happiness but also moments of loneliness, frustration and heartache.

My ex and I live in separate provinces, he in Alberta and I moved back home to Saskatchewan.  The kids live with me throughout the year.  Last summer we shared them (alternating every 2 weeks) but this summer they are gone to their dads for basically the whole summer.

Going through this process has been difficult, I had them this past week, but dropped them off to their dad again last evening and I already miss them.  I miss their faces and laughter and the smell of their hair… that baby soap mixed with hours of playing outside which makes for sun soaked happiness.  I miss Hudson crawling into bed with me every morning….

Their dad and I don’t get along which makes it all the more difficult dropping them off to him, but I try to put our differences aside and take a deep breath, and remind myself that they love him and deserve to have him in their lives. 

Sometimes it takes every ounce of courage, strength, forgiveness and faith to try and let go of the past and just move forward.  As much as it is difficult going through a separation, I don’t regret it.  I am blessed to have my kids and I have learnt a lot about myself, being a parent and life in general.

I’m sure I’ll eventually write down my past, I’m sure it will be therapeutic to get it out and accept everything that has happened.  For now, instead of moping about not having my kids around, I will remind myself of everything I should be happy and thankful for and continue to journal this new journey as our life is reinvented.

“I will live and not die”

Psalms 118: 17

Summer Holiday's

I picked up my kids on Friday (July 19^th) and we headed straight up to Edmonton, AB to visit my sissy and enjoy some MUCH NEEDED family time with her, my bro-in-law and the most adorable little niece around.

Our four days were filled with fun!  Swimming, rides, movies, walks, good food and loads of laughs.

This summer has been hard with my kids being gone for most of it, 7 out of 8 weeks… insert sad face here…  so the 8 days they are here with me I want to spend some great time with them.  As any parent knows, our kids are our lives and we want to give them the best we can and this weekend was just that for us, making some awesome memories.

Although our days were filled with activities, it was also filled with loads of cuddles and pure happiness just to be together.  I truly believe they deserve to live happy and enjoy the novelties of childhood.

 

“watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live”

Deuteronomy 4:9